Control me.

I never understood the concept of keeping a journal throughout my life never mind one that is public, but it has been a fantastic outlet in times of need, and I'm glad people can relate to it in one way or another.

There was some point in time where I decided I was going to push myself to become exactly what I wanted to be, and it was way before I even understood what DJing was; but I got lost somewhere on that road. I can't say I was ever a bad person. I was never a liar or a cheater, never a person that you couldn't trust in a time of need, and my number 1 rule is to never disrespect someone. I stand by those rules about myself today as I have always tried to. Of course there are times where I have slipped up but keeping these values about myself true have gotten me to where I am in an industry filled with liars and the like (shoutout to everyone who isn't, you know who you are).

My form of wandering came in the shape of a demon that looked like substances. Abuse of substances. Ways to ignore all my responsibilities and have fun at the same time? Fuck that sounds awesome. I was out of control (OC) and didn't even realize it; but that's exactly how it works doesn't it. We go through our lives finding things that temporarily make us feel better, things that let us ignore what the real problems are, things that either give us a pain to mask the real pain; pleasure to overcome it; or something nice and shiny to distract us. But how real is what you're holding on to?

It was a rude awakening that brought me out of that slump and it took me a while to climb out of it and get on back on my feet. I went from one end of the spectrum to the other and lived life on both sides. After all this time of ups and downs, tears of joy and happiness, rising to the top of a shady industry while keeping true to my honesty, I can say one thing stands ridiculously apparent to me now; life is about balance. 

Enjoy your times being bad and have fun with them. Don't let them get out of control and run your life. Work hard and be responsible so that you have times where you can fun, but don't forget that it's okay to get ridiculous sometimes. I've been working hard and will continue to work hard, but I know that when I'm ready I'll be able to step back and have a good time, without losing control.

Stay tuned for Summer Lovin' coming in the next few months.

-Remain Still

For Now or Forever. A mix and a few thoughts.

It's been a while since my last post.

My life has been busy with music and school and work. For a time, my thoughts had personal outlets and my life questions had disappeared.

But once again, life has provided to be untrustworthy and unpredictable. Like most people I am lucky enough to have a comfortable place to call home. A roof over my head, money for food, and people around me that would support me, whatever my current crazy idea would be. Having a physical/emotional/mental place that we can take ourselves for as long as we need to reset and get back on our feet is the greatest gift anyone can give.

But no matter how much we are supported and loved, there are times that we can't help but feel alone. The heart and mind that reside within our bodies are unique, in every sense of the word, and we must live with the conflict that arises between them. Our minds search for the challenge of uncertainty while our hearts provide their greatest warmth during times of comfort and pleasure. We attach ourselves to the things that make us happy; never fully considering whether they will be there forever or not. Put simply, people get angry when things don't go the way they want or expect -- it happens to all of us. Some can control this feeling more than others but in the end we all feel it in one way or another.

Your only responsibility in life is to keep your mind excited and your heart happy in any way, shape, or form. Do yourself a favour and cherish the moments that you have a smile on your face and the pressures of life disappear. If only for a moment, close your eyes, forget about the world, and let your soul remain still. If you can do this it doesn't matter who is watching, what your plans are for the weekend, or what you need to make for supper tonight. Learn to do this all the time and you will forever be happy.

My music provides me with this very release. A time where I can disappear in to myself and let all my emotions run free. My body and soul sit completely still. My heart is open and I no longer think, only feel.

This mix is painful to me. I shed a few tears while making it and it makes me want to hold my heart when I listen to it. It represents a person that gave me more than I ever expected but that life has required me to let go of. This mix plays and I picture a friendly stranger walking down a long road, alone.

I hope the best for you all on your unique and painful journeys.

Listen.

Download.

Remain Still.