Where Are You Now?

It's been 15 months since I last posted. Been a while.

A thought for today with spring in full swing and summer just around the corner:

Today's world is filled with stimulation. Smartphones, TV, movies, music, advertisements, work, school, entertainment, social media, drama; the options are endless. Every aspect of our lives is carried forward with the expectation that some new event will distract us from who we are; distract us from the thoughts in our head and inevitably the "regular" lives we all should be living. Now, when I say regular I don't mean average or not extraordinary, that part is completely up to you.

I'm talking about consistency and regularity. Setting yourself on a path, making a plan that ignores distractions and sticking to it; having a daily, weekly, or monthly routine that you commit to in order to have a strong foundation to build upon. The type that will actually move your life forward and take you to the next step. Success isn't built on some weak event that launches you to the top randomly. When it does happen it is hollow and surrounded by negativity (E.g. Justin Bieber).

Why do you think you feel stuck?

The problem I see is everyone being so uncomfortable with the thought of an even slightly regular schedule. I don't blame anyone for it; like I said, our lives are filled with distractions. We were born on the cusp of the technological age and at this point I'm pretty sure no one really knows how to deal with it. We've all just grown in to it and thus accepted that this is the way it is. Inadvertently feeling that we need the newest piece of technology to get us through the day, feeling that we need the biggest DJs to come to town to feel like it's even worth going out, or even feeling that we need a new person in our lives to replace one that has left us. We feel like our lives our falling apart if nothing "exciting" happens soon enough, to the point where we will sit on social media and scroll the endless trail of posts until we find something that even slightly peaks our least important interests. Creating things in our head when there's nothing to create it for us is a skill we've all subconsciously become very good at.

If you decided to go out for dinner 3 Fridays in a row, could you even go to the same restaurant every time?

We try things once or twice and they start to get old. The excitement of "new" is lost and it becomes familiar and eventually boring. The sad thing is, a constant flow of new things saturates whatever market it may be and inherently destroys. We live with the idea that there will always be something new to catch our attention but what if all of a sudden the flow just stopped? How many people would be just completely lost?

There are a lot of roles that I play. I am son, brother, friend, boyfriend, uncle, student, cellphone salesman, DJ, promoter. 4 years ago I set myself on a path and it has led me to where I am now; a year left in a business degree, 2 weekly residencies, and a record deal with a company in LA. This path has never been anything concrete, it was a small and shady gravel inlet covered in rocky ideas leading in to a dark forest. I have lost too much to even be accounted for in the process, feeling like branches reaching out to cut me down. So many days where the light at the end was so dim that it seemed like I had turned the wrong way. But my aim is only to move forward; through all the distractions, through the people that will think whatever they want to about me, resisting the bad habits that I developed earlier that I was lucky enough to break free from. My loved ones give me strength and I try as hard as possible to return the favour when it's needed.

So, my advice is this: If you find something good, and I mean truly GOOD, for you as person and for your life as a whole. Support it and nurture it. Give it time to grow and develop. If you like it at the beginning and it begins to feel old practice giving things time. Sometimes it may not work out but even in the end, the process will always make you better.

If you feel like you're exempt from this, chances are that you aren't. Take a look at yourself and ask yourself what you're building towards.

Things always improve if you've set yourself on the right path. I'm pretty sure the end never really comes, we just keep walking through this abyss we call life.

Control me.

I never understood the concept of keeping a journal throughout my life never mind one that is public, but it has been a fantastic outlet in times of need, and I'm glad people can relate to it in one way or another.

There was some point in time where I decided I was going to push myself to become exactly what I wanted to be, and it was way before I even understood what DJing was; but I got lost somewhere on that road. I can't say I was ever a bad person. I was never a liar or a cheater, never a person that you couldn't trust in a time of need, and my number 1 rule is to never disrespect someone. I stand by those rules about myself today as I have always tried to. Of course there are times where I have slipped up but keeping these values about myself true have gotten me to where I am in an industry filled with liars and the like (shoutout to everyone who isn't, you know who you are).

My form of wandering came in the shape of a demon that looked like substances. Abuse of substances. Ways to ignore all my responsibilities and have fun at the same time? Fuck that sounds awesome. I was out of control (OC) and didn't even realize it; but that's exactly how it works doesn't it. We go through our lives finding things that temporarily make us feel better, things that let us ignore what the real problems are, things that either give us a pain to mask the real pain; pleasure to overcome it; or something nice and shiny to distract us. But how real is what you're holding on to?

It was a rude awakening that brought me out of that slump and it took me a while to climb out of it and get on back on my feet. I went from one end of the spectrum to the other and lived life on both sides. After all this time of ups and downs, tears of joy and happiness, rising to the top of a shady industry while keeping true to my honesty, I can say one thing stands ridiculously apparent to me now; life is about balance. 

Enjoy your times being bad and have fun with them. Don't let them get out of control and run your life. Work hard and be responsible so that you have times where you can fun, but don't forget that it's okay to get ridiculous sometimes. I've been working hard and will continue to work hard, but I know that when I'm ready I'll be able to step back and have a good time, without losing control.

Stay tuned for Summer Lovin' coming in the next few months.

-Remain Still

For Now or Forever. A mix and a few thoughts.

It's been a while since my last post.

My life has been busy with music and school and work. For a time, my thoughts had personal outlets and my life questions had disappeared.

But once again, life has provided to be untrustworthy and unpredictable. Like most people I am lucky enough to have a comfortable place to call home. A roof over my head, money for food, and people around me that would support me, whatever my current crazy idea would be. Having a physical/emotional/mental place that we can take ourselves for as long as we need to reset and get back on our feet is the greatest gift anyone can give.

But no matter how much we are supported and loved, there are times that we can't help but feel alone. The heart and mind that reside within our bodies are unique, in every sense of the word, and we must live with the conflict that arises between them. Our minds search for the challenge of uncertainty while our hearts provide their greatest warmth during times of comfort and pleasure. We attach ourselves to the things that make us happy; never fully considering whether they will be there forever or not. Put simply, people get angry when things don't go the way they want or expect -- it happens to all of us. Some can control this feeling more than others but in the end we all feel it in one way or another.

Your only responsibility in life is to keep your mind excited and your heart happy in any way, shape, or form. Do yourself a favour and cherish the moments that you have a smile on your face and the pressures of life disappear. If only for a moment, close your eyes, forget about the world, and let your soul remain still. If you can do this it doesn't matter who is watching, what your plans are for the weekend, or what you need to make for supper tonight. Learn to do this all the time and you will forever be happy.

My music provides me with this very release. A time where I can disappear in to myself and let all my emotions run free. My body and soul sit completely still. My heart is open and I no longer think, only feel.

This mix is painful to me. I shed a few tears while making it and it makes me want to hold my heart when I listen to it. It represents a person that gave me more than I ever expected but that life has required me to let go of. This mix plays and I picture a friendly stranger walking down a long road, alone.

I hope the best for you all on your unique and painful journeys.

Listen.

Download.

Remain Still.

Mix 28: Y Our Hearts Break

Wow. Almost 2 months since I've posted anything.

I have a blog post coming I think. But here is the CD mix. As soon as I made it I knew it would be perfect to play live at the Y. I still can't get over how crazy that place was on Friday. In my short Y career of dancing and now playing I've never seen it that packed in the main room. I know I got lucky with my night being right after Blackout but there is something to be said about having an over-capacity club and keeping a room that packed. Keep it humble and keep working hard.

Listen to it!

Download it!

Remain Still

So Wake Me Up When it's All Over

I feel like growing up in today's world is the craziest thing. No other generation has experienced what we are experiencing. There are zero guidelines, zero rules, and unlimited possibilities. You can be anything you want to be. You could stop everything you are doing today, leave your friends, move to a different city, start completely fresh as a brand new person, and no one would say a thing. People will let you do whatever you want. Dress a certain way, do your hair a certain way, live exactly how you want to live. They may talk behind your back or start rumors, but they won't tell you what's wrong with you, the people close to you will even support you in being the craziest person possible if that's who you want to be.

I'm currently in the weirdest most uncomfortable position of my life. I've spent my whole life wondering if I'm different, normal, special, crazy, whatever. One of my worst qualities is my constant over-thinking. It drives me crazy sometimes and I know when it is happening but I can't stop it. It's just who I am and what I do. It's because of this over thinking that I've needed constant change and excitement to distract me from life, I need something to always look forward to. I've lived my life changing my goals and moving from lifestyle to lifestyle doing whatever I want, whenever I want. I didn't realize what I was doing until I met someone that gave me rules to live by. She showed me from an outside perspective the life that I was living and what it was doing to me. I was broken inside and either no one could see through the mask that I was wearing, or they knew I wouldn't listen if they told me. She has set me on a completely different path, one that I feel like I am wearing a blindfold on. Not only with how I live my life, but with the person I am on the inside. Healthier, stronger, more confident, smarter. I feel better about everything. But as good as it feels, it is completely unknown to me. I don't say uncomfortable in a bad way either. The easiest way to explain it would be comparing it to physiotherapy or working out. You have a goal in mind, but you must work through some uncomfortable pain or positions to get to your end result. You may wake up and dread having to do whatever it is you have to do, but you know what you want and no matter how long it takes you will get there.

"Fake it till you make it"

I've heard this saying a lot. I like the meaning behind it but I don't like the way it is worded. Life isn't about faking anything. Maybe it is easier in some people's minds to do something if they believe they are faking it but all you have to do is do it. You take something unknown to you, and live it till it becomes who you actually are. Live it till you don't have to think twice about what you are doing or why you are doing it. And it is scary as fuck. Sometimes I stop and think about everything that I have planned for the week and all I want to do is cancel everything and crawl in to a black hole of video games, distractions, and old habits. That is why it's uncomfortable for me. But it gets easier every day. Everyone has their own form of distractions and way of shutting out the world, what is yours? And is it healthy?

I'm in one of those plateau's in life but I know it isn't a bad thing. I'm working so hard. Not sometimes, but every single day. Struggling every day to be someone that I have no idea how to be. Scared that I am doing things wrong and unsure if I'm going to reach my goals. I failed to reach a couple goals this summer but it isn't a big deal because I'm still working towards them. For one reason or another things didn't turn out the way I wanted so changes had to be made to my plan. But that's okay. Not reaching a certain goal isn't failure, giving up is failure. So until I decide to crawl back in to the whole that I was digging for myself until last year, I haven't given up, and haven't failed.

I didn't know I was lost

Mix 27: Y We Can't Remain Still

Howdy.

So this mix was originally supposed to be for a Y Afterhours CD release party but it got pushed back a couple months. I decided to put it up anyways because by that time I'll want newer music on the mix.

SO here you go. For my fans at the Y, the ones that come to other shows to see me, the ones that make me kandi bracelets with "Remain Still" on them, the ones that wear the shirts I've given them, and especially the ones that stay by my side and keep hoping for more.

Thanks <3

Listen to it!

Download it!

Track list coming soon!

Mix 26: This is What It Feels Like

Wow 5 months since I've made a mix. Tons of new music that I've been listening to. Here is the latest. Some powerful lyrics at the beginning and in the middle and awesome beats near the end. I've been told by people they really get something out of the songs I choose. That's amazing to hear, hope it means something to you.


Enjoy.




Download it!

Track List:
If I lose Myself (Alesso vs. OneRepublic Extended Remix) - Alesso, OneRepublic
This is What It Feels Like feat. Trevor Guthrie (W&W Remix) 0 Armin van Buuren, Trevor Guthrie
Walking On Air (Extended Mix) - Dino, Daddy's Groove
Leprechauns & Unichorns (Original Mix) - Dyro
Let Me Love You (Original Mix) - Deorro, Adrian Delgado
Alive (Hardwell Remix) - Krewella
Summertime Sadness (Cedric Gervais Remix) - Lana Del Rey
Symphonica (Cash Cash Remix) - Nicky Romero
Melbourne Bounce feat. Big Nab (Original) - Orkestrated, Big Nab, Fries & Shine
Upgrade (Original Mix) - Case & Point
Bad Guy (Original Mix) - Gregon Klosman, Tony Romera
Never Say Goodbye feat. Bright Lights (Original Mix) - Hardwell, Dyro, Bright Lights

-Remain Still